5 things to know before moving to Colombia

Living in a different country can be a fun adventure, and Colombia has a lot of beauty for everyone to enjoy. Here are five small things from toilets to language use that would have been nice to know ahead of time.

El baño

Unless you are at a big shopping mall or supermarket, it’s rare to find toilet paper provided in bathrooms. We definitely don’t have it in our schools in Monteria. Therefore you should always carry some with you. The same goes for soap; it's just not provided. Since we are on the subject, there are rarely toilet seats either. As you can imagine the toilet bowl rims are gross, so ladies, get those legs in shape with some squats so you don't have to touch any surfaces. Yuck!

You can pay 500 pesos to use a porta potty at the Arboletes beach.

Furthermore you cannot throw toilet paper or anything else in the toilets here. Colombian toilet systems have small pipes with low water pressure, so they just don’t have what it takes to handle the paper. Use the little trash cans next to the toilets instead of clogging up the whole system.

Luckily I found a restaurant with nice bathrooms and even better piña coladas.

Patience is key.

Whether you are trying to plan a lesson with a co-teacher, wrestling with classroom management or getting cut in line at the supermarket, you will need to be patient. Have an open mind about doing things differently from what you are used to. Not only will you have to be patient with other people, you will have to to be patient with yourself as you go on the roller coaster ride known as culture shock.

School resources

My school is the biggest and oldest public school in Monteria, and the resources are scarce. I was a little bit surprised to see that the classrooms have desks for students, a desk for the teacher, a whiteboard, and an old rusty locker. The walls and desks have students’ drawings, names and expletives all over them.

My classroom... students find time and energy to write things like "suck it" on their desks.

To make copies we go to a small shed where a man sits all day making photocopies for 50 pesos a page. The teachers usually collect money from students for the price of their worksheets and tests. To stay away from printing too much and paying for copies (yeah it adds up), we do a lot of white board work which students copy into their notebooks. Sometimes we try to use the projector for images, videos and games when we can. This too is challenging because there is only one projector that is shared between all of the teachers in the whole school on a “first come, first serve” basis. This is why creativity is so important as a teacher here. Role-play activities and interactive group games that get the students moving around are a necessity.

Cancelled classes

In addition to the scarce resources, classes are consistently cancelled. I’m not talking about the many holidays we enjoy as days off. I’m talking about the teacher strikes, whole school assemblies, and just random half days that make it challenging to carry out your lesson plans consistently to all of your different groups. At my school one bell rings to tell students their break is over, or to go to the next class. Two bells means they all must go to the event area for an assembly (this can be to celebrate things like culture, the school’s anniversary, Sports day, Spanish language day, English language day, or just to have Mass for a specific Catholic holiday). These assemblies usually last about 3 hours and the students need a 30 minute break afterwards before carrying on classes as usual, if this happens at all. Three bells will be followed by the elated screams of students. Three bells tells everyone to go home for the day, and teachers are not told beforehand. We find out when the bells are rung just like everybody else.  

Basic knowledge of the Spanish language.

Is Spanish required? No. Will it help you have an easier time navigating daily life? Absolutely. The more you practice, the better you will get.

Dried coconut figures among other cultural items

In Monteria people speak so quickly and often don’t pronounce letters ‘s’ and ‘d’. For example ‘pescado’ meaning fish would be pronounced “pescao”. Instead of ‘estudiantes’, students are called “pelaos” by most of the school staff (from the word ‘pelado’ which just means kid or young adult in Colombia). I had an intermediate level when I came to Colombia, and through arduous use of the language I have improved a lot. That being said, sometimes I still don’t understand many things in conversations with Costeños because of their strong accent and rapid speech.

Sometimes you just need to get away and relax on the beach.

There you have it. Five juicy tidbits that might help you create realistic expectations of your new life in Colombia if you choose to move to this beautiful country.

Costeño culture shock: A Year in Monteria

As a new English teaching fellow for Heart for Change and Volunteers Colombia, I didn’t know what to expect. I had a sense that I would go through culture shock, and I learned about the waves and the stages, but on a non-theoretical level I didn’t really know what was about to happen to me. As an eager, open minded 25 year old American woman, I embarked on a journey to Colombia ready to learn about and adapt to a new culture.

During a day off at orientation in Bogota... I still didn't know what to expect in Monteria.

Different regions in Colombia have drastically different cultures. The coastal regions are very different than the interior or countryside regions. Even within different regions, culture can vary from city to city, and neighborhood to neighborhood. The Costeño culture I encountered In my placement city of Monteria, in the northern Caribbean region was very shocking to say the least, and it makes me question just how “open minded” I really am.

It’s loud.

Honking is a very common form of communication here. There are a ton of motorcycles (AKA motos) and they love to use their horns. All the honking I hear is, and I'm guessing here, comprised of moto-taxis or regular taxis offering their services to all the pedestrians they pass, a friend or parent announcing they have just arrived to pick someone up, motos trying to avoid a collision as they drive past an intersection, and lack of patience while waiting at a red light.

The honking isn’t the only noisy part. My students are super loud. They like to enter the classroom screaming and yelling with their friends, as they start moving their desks around screeching the metal legs against the tile floors.

Your experience changes with the neighborhood.

The noise level and general experiences will vary a lot depending on the barrio (neighborhood) within a given city. I live in a barrio called El Eden, which is estrato 3 out of 5 and just a 15 minute walk to my school.

The view of El Eden from my window

The higher the strato the classier, safer, and most likely quieter it will be. In El Eden, Vallenato, Champeta or Reggaeton can be heard blasting from high quality speakers at all hours of the night. There have been a few nights when the party didn’t stop until 6 am, so I would recommend bringing high quality earplugs. Other fellows in other regions of Colombia have had the same experience with loud music, so it doesn’t seem to be only a coastal thing.

One of the cute paintings at my school that I can really relate to.

Machismo and Sexism.

In most neighborhoods in Monteria, except for maybe the very high estratos, Machismo abounds. Females walking around without a male will be the object of catcalls, whistling, and occasional kissy faces. Ladies should make sure to walk on the inside of the sidewalk as much as they can so that a random guy on a bicycle or moto doesn’t grab their butt as they ride by. This is actually a form of sexual assault and it has happened to me in Monteria. It also happened to another fellow in Mompox. Sexism and machismo seem to be more common in the Caribbean region than the other regions of Colombia. After talking to my Colombian co-teachers it sounds rare for the local women to experience physical assault like me and my friend have, but it does happen sometimes. My mentor says that usually these type of criminals will have the sole goal of snatching a woman’s purse, but as foreign women here we have been seen as an exotic target for many. This aspect of the culture has been the hardest for my friends and me to get used to, if anyone ever could. Sometimes we try our best to answer the question as to why the men here behave like this. We usually chalk it up to a lack of education and disrespect for women, mixed in with the fact that these cities don’t get a lot of foreign visitors.

My beloved colegio

It hasn’t been easy, but it has been very rewarding. I do complain about the hard times, and sometimes the challenge of living and working in a different culture seems like too much to handle. As I get closer to the end of my time in Colombia, I can see how much I’ve grown because of the many challenges I have faced. What has made it all worth it for me has been my students. They can easily remind me why I am still here and my spirits get lifted once again during classes or English conversation club. They have limitless potential, beautiful hearts, and comedic minds. They motivate me everyday to smile and think in a more positive light. In the end I am glad I came to Colombia, and I am thankful for the amazing opportunity to exchange encouragement and culture with my students and inspire at least some of them to dream big.

It's better to prevent than to cure

Two shiny black crows sat in the road. One of them thinking he would prefer to be migratory, free
soaring through thermals, soaring by Plumeria and peace lilies

"It's a winter wonderland! Could you ever tire of this?"
frightened by our car, that crow flew away
the tires thoroughly inflated

me nauseous                      you thinking of Roscoe rolling his Rs
getting skinnier with age
maintaining superior fluffiness                 cuddling skills
impressive for a cat

these pictures in reverse colors                    the beloved negatives of film
baby crying, glass breaking and too many options of candies to choose from
the mother impatiently yells
oh don't start again

one crow was not afraid of the passing car
remaining atop the blanket of diamonds
he made cold footprints and opened and closed his wings

Some therapeutic poetry times

I always introduce my little sister as my little sister. She is just so lil! We had a good time sipping lattes, drawing pictures, and partaking in therapeutic poetry.

Here's what happens to be still a rough draft without a title.


drawing hearts against the glass 
leaving undesirable traces          stop it.

I ate dirt
and tricked my mom into drinking dirt. 
messing with her iced tea while planting sunflowers

bright crisp clear skies
breathe
in an early blue mountain lake little guppies swimming around as friends would

running around a green yard
being lucky not to have stepped in the dog shit.

I want to go to New York City.

I just love this song.

Sense data, matter, real tables and right angles.

If you had to say one sentence about yourself, why would it not be the following sentence?

"I think it's reasonable, uhhh, yeah I think it's reasonable that you call me Dr. Johnson. Oh and I do know what you should call me if I were to be knighted. Professor Sir Johnson. Hardy har har."

Welll I'll tell you why, becuase it makes you sound like a prick. I've never met anyone so so pretensious. You aren't that amazing, I highly doubt you will ever be knighted, and I don't want to be your Facebook friend anyway you British snob.

I think this article on the phenomenon sums it up nicely. People are people. Some people are intellectuals, some aren't. Don't spend an hour thinking up the most proper way to say... uhhh. napkin? No, rectahngle.

//////

It's a beautiful day, I'm going to go on a bike ride in the suspiciously autumn-like feelingtastingsmelling air. I feel great, and everything is going to be all right. Better than alright maybe.

"Who Is Not on the Hustle / In Life's Lottery?

Grown up jobs. Working full time. It kind of sucks. But in a rewarding way. I'm learning a lot about myself and meeting some pretty kick ass people in the process.
BUT
I want to go camping. I want to make s'mores. I'm upset that s'mores is not in the corrective dictionary.

I told my little sister that I should be able to write faster for my job, and she was surprised that I was having problems with that.

The neighbor's dog just chased my cat around the pine tree...

I like this city. I like it more and more every year that I live in it.

I used to pray to get out of it.
I used to pray to get out of a lot of things.
I used to pray to save my wretched soul - for forgiveness.
It gets old when you realize you are talking to yourself.

I don't pray anymore.
My sister said she prayed a lot in jail and that was all she had.
My sister said that she was lying to the lady on the phone about using drugs again, she just had to tell them that so they would pay for her anti-depressants and
for her rehab.

She said that she used the day she got out of jail. She said that she had a child. But that wasn't her first answer. She said no. "Do you have any children."
No.
Yes, I mean. But she is living with my mom.

"Have you ever been tested for HIV?"
I would think they would do that when I had my daughter right?
...

I threw away my make-up. $80 dollars in the trash.
DO YOU EVER JUST REALIZE
that you haven't been thinking about your actual life at all,
that you have left that behind?
AND THEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT PARTS OF IT sometimes
and it only seems like you haven't been thinking about your life at all.

I think I'll never be a carnivore, I'll never be religious, I'll never be a junkie
thank the lord.

Obsessively remembering
life sweeping on.